Today at lunch:
Phil: Did I hear something about a boyfriend?
Me: No, we were just talking about zombie movies.
Phil: But I distinctly heard you say the words “My boyfriend”
Me: I was talking about “My Boyfriend’s Back” as an example of a zombie teen romantic comedy. No gossip, sorry. I don’t have a boyfriend.
Phil: You’re not getting any younger.
WHAT.
Charles: I saw a guy on BART this morning with an eye patch and that got me thinking. Eyepatches are cool, right? So if you had to wear an eyepatch, how would you want to lose the eye?
Me: Easy. Trade it to a billionaire with eye cancer for beaucoup bucks.
Charles: Wow. That’s lame.
Charles: I think a knife fight in a hidden city.
Me: You won’t think it’s so lame when I use my eye money to buy a hover car.
How would you want to lose the eye?