The Forest and the Outlaw

Lauren: and what’s up with [Michael Shanks] being in movies about crazy animals?
Carrie: He’s only got the two
Lauren: that’s two more than most people
Lauren: next he’ll be in STAMPEDE, about a herd of genetically altered cows
Carrie: He’s been afraid of cows since his father was trampled to death in front of him!
Lauren: and he grew up on a farm, so he’s got a thick cowboy accent, and wears chaps
Lauren: even though he’s a real estate agent
Carrie: Now he must team up with a beautiful cow-ologist to survive
Lauren: and face his ultimate fear: STAMPEDE
Carrie: Also starring Kazakhstan as West Texas
Lauren: after the success of STAMPEDE, he’ll be in a movie called Nuts about squirrels working for the mob
Carrie: Then Peanut, about genetically altered peanuts that EVERYONE is allergic to.
Carrie: He has to team up with a beautiful epi-pen manufacturer
Lauren: Just combine the two, where the squirrels are working for the mob to distribute the genetically altered peanuts
Lauren: because who else would be able to get them spread throughout the entirety of new york city if everyone is allergic to them?
Carrie: That makes sense
Carrie: Michael Shanks has avoided peanuts ever since he watched his father choke to death on one.
Lauren: how about his father was just allergic to peanuts and he mistakenly gave his dad a peanut m&m (product placement! we can get sponsored!)
Lauren: he’ll be a doctor who has worked tirelessly his entire life to combat peanut allergies, even going so far as testing experimental drugs on himself – which is why he’s not dead
Carrie: Also starring Minsk as New York City