The Forest and the Outlaw » chat http://carriesager.com Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:08:18 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 In which we are totally as funny as we think we are http://carriesager.com/2009/03/in-which-we-are-totally-as-funny-as-we-think-we-are/ http://carriesager.com/2009/03/in-which-we-are-totally-as-funny-as-we-think-we-are/#comments Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:02:57 +0000 Carrie http://carriesager.com/?p=144 Continue reading →]]> Lauren: and what’s up with [Michael Shanks] being in movies about crazy animals?
Carrie: He’s only got the two
Lauren: that’s two more than most people
Lauren: next he’ll be in STAMPEDE, about a herd of genetically altered cows
Carrie: He’s been afraid of cows since his father was trampled to death in front of him!
Lauren: and he grew up on a farm, so he’s got a thick cowboy accent, and wears chaps
Lauren: even though he’s a real estate agent
Carrie: Now he must team up with a beautiful cow-ologist to survive
Lauren: and face his ultimate fear: STAMPEDE
Carrie: Also starring Kazakhstan as West Texas
Lauren: after the success of STAMPEDE, he’ll be in a movie called Nuts about squirrels working for the mob
Carrie: Then Peanut, about genetically altered peanuts that EVERYONE is allergic to.
Carrie: He has to team up with a beautiful epi-pen manufacturer
Lauren: Just combine the two, where the squirrels are working for the mob to distribute the genetically altered peanuts
Lauren: because who else would be able to get them spread throughout the entirety of new york city if everyone is allergic to them?
Carrie: That makes sense
Carrie: Michael Shanks has avoided peanuts ever since he watched his father choke to death on one.
Lauren: how about his father was just allergic to peanuts and he mistakenly gave his dad a peanut m&m (product placement! we can get sponsored!)
Lauren: he’ll be a doctor who has worked tirelessly his entire life to combat peanut allergies, even going so far as testing experimental drugs on himself – which is why he’s not dead
Carrie: Also starring Minsk as New York City

]]> http://carriesager.com/2009/03/in-which-we-are-totally-as-funny-as-we-think-we-are/feed/ 0 Giant snakes http://carriesager.com/2009/03/giant-snakes/ http://carriesager.com/2009/03/giant-snakes/#comments Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:25:34 +0000 Carrie http://carriesager.com/?p=126 Continue reading →]]> Lauren: anaconda 4: serpentmageddon?
Carrie: Anaconda 4: Still in Eastern Europe, No Really.
Lauren: the third was in eastern europe?
Carrie: yep
Lauren: anaconda 4: mcmurdo station
Carrie: Anaconda 5: On The Moon
Lauren: anaconda 6: invasion, where the anacondas interbreed with aliens and try to take over the earth
Carrie: Anaconda 7: Touched By An Anaconda, where God sends down a killer snake to teach the world to love
Lauren: anaconda 8: stone of cold fire
Lauren: where a meteor comes to earth, infested with space anacondas, and wipes out most of human life, the survivors have to compete with anacondas to survive
Carrie: Anaconda 9: Havana Nights
Carrie: A snake and a girl defy social taboos to win a dance contest
Lauren: that’s after humanity has rebuilt itself, and anacondas and humans live in peace, of course
Lauren: anaconda 10: the musical
Carrie: Starring Beyonce
Lauren: and miley cyrus
Lauren: anaconda 11: look who’s talking now
Lauren: I think I could do this all day

]]> http://carriesager.com/2009/03/giant-snakes/feed/ 2 AIM at work http://carriesager.com/2007/06/aim-at-work/ http://carriesager.com/2007/06/aim-at-work/#comments Wed, 06 Jun 2007 21:24:02 +0000 Carrie http://carriesager.com/?p=114 Continue reading →]]> Charles: I saw a guy on BART this morning with an eye patch and that got me thinking. Eyepatches are cool, right? So if you had to wear an eyepatch, how would you want to lose the eye?
Me: Easy. Trade it to a billionaire with eye cancer for beaucoup bucks.
Charles: Wow. That’s lame.
Charles: I think a knife fight in a hidden city.
Me: You won’t think it’s so lame when I use my eye money to buy a hover car.

How would you want to lose the eye?

]]> http://carriesager.com/2007/06/aim-at-work/feed/ 0