In which we are totally as funny as we think we are

Carrie — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:02:57 +0000

Lauren: and what’s up with [Michael Shanks] being in movies about crazy animals?
Carrie: He’s only got the two
Lauren: that’s two more than most people
Lauren: next he’ll be in STAMPEDE, about a herd of genetically altered cows
Carrie: He’s been afraid of cows since his father was trampled to death in front of him!
Lauren: and he grew up on a farm, so he’s got a thick cowboy accent, and wears chaps
Lauren: even though he’s a real estate agent
Carrie: Now he must team up with a beautiful cow-ologist to survive
Lauren: and face his ultimate fear: STAMPEDE
Carrie: Also starring Kazakhstan as West Texas
Lauren: after the success of STAMPEDE, he’ll be in a movie called Nuts about squirrels working for the mob
Carrie: Then Peanut, about genetically altered peanuts that EVERYONE is allergic to.
Carrie: He has to team up with a beautiful epi-pen manufacturer
Lauren: Just combine the two, where the squirrels are working for the mob to distribute the genetically altered peanuts
Lauren: because who else would be able to get them spread throughout the entirety of new york city if everyone is allergic to them?
Carrie: That makes sense
Carrie: Michael Shanks has avoided peanuts ever since he watched his father choke to death on one.
Lauren: how about his father was just allergic to peanuts and he mistakenly gave his dad a peanut m&m (product placement! we can get sponsored!)
Lauren: he’ll be a doctor who has worked tirelessly his entire life to combat peanut allergies, even going so far as testing experimental drugs on himself – which is why he’s not dead
Carrie: Also starring Minsk as New York City

Giant snakes

Carrie — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:25:34 +0000

Lauren: anaconda 4: serpentmageddon?
Carrie: Anaconda 4: Still in Eastern Europe, No Really.
Lauren: the third was in eastern europe?
Carrie: yep
Lauren: anaconda 4: mcmurdo station
Carrie: Anaconda 5: On The Moon
Lauren: anaconda 6: invasion, where the anacondas interbreed with aliens and try to take over the earth
Carrie: Anaconda 7: Touched By An Anaconda, where God sends down a killer snake to teach the world to love
Lauren: anaconda 8: stone of cold fire
Lauren: where a meteor comes to earth, infested with space anacondas, and wipes out most of human life, the survivors have to compete with anacondas to survive
Carrie: Anaconda 9: Havana Nights
Carrie: A snake and a girl defy social taboos to win a dance contest
Lauren: that’s after humanity has rebuilt itself, and anacondas and humans live in peace, of course
Lauren: anaconda 10: the musical
Carrie: Starring Beyonce
Lauren: and miley cyrus
Lauren: anaconda 11: look who’s talking now
Lauren: I think I could do this all day

The Forest and the Outlaw » giant snakes

In which we are totally as funny as we think we are

Giant snakes